Script for the How To Brain Surgery...

Short Film
“The Internet Shows You How – Brain Surgery”

Fade In

Graphic…title sequence…

A series of technical images taken from the internet… from computers to cars to teeth… drugs… etc…

Intro graphic: “The Internet Shows You How”

Cut to our announcer in a domestic home environment… the whole feel is very DIY film making….

Host
Hello and welcome to another edition of The internet shows you how… and today we’re going to look at brain surgery… yes you heard me correctly… … forget all that studying for years and years…and exam after exam… with the internet you’ve got all the information you need to sort out Aunty Gwen’s dementia and think how much money you’ll be saving the NHS… no more waiting lists… just tap into Google and away we go….

Cut to a boy (10 years old) sitting at the computer…

Host
Hey Jimmy fancy helping me perform brain surgery…

The boy looks up…

Jimmy
Sure!

Host
Ok then let’s do it…so 1st things 1st lets look it up on the net…

The boy types in brain surgery… and we see the search results…

Host
Now this may take a bit of time to really find what works for you and you’ve got to make sure you hit the right link…. I mean we don’t want to be using a dog’s brain for example do we… that could leave Aunty Gwen feeling well ruff …(drum roll)... Ha ha…

Jimmy looks at our character sternly…

Host
Ahem… anyway onwards and forwards… how’re you doing Jimmy…

The kid opens a web sight with the layout of a human brain….

Host
Looks like you’ve found it …WELL DONE…you see any idiot can find this stuff out….no offence Jimmy… Now one of the most important things in this scenario is tools… look at what needed and if you haven’t got everything you see in the picture… find something in your home that does a similar job…

Layout of various tools and instruments….
(Rubber gloves, electric drill, knives and forks, grinder, blow torch….etc…)

Host
Looks like we’re ready to begin Jimmy… shall we do it…

Our host turns to Jimmy

Host
Let’s get your Aunt….

We see the aunt being dragged reluctantly into shot….

Host
Make sure you carefully follow the instructions…

(We cut to see Aunty Gwen… tied up to a chair… our host now holds up a the grinder and starting it up proceeds to use it on Gwen…. Cut away to reveal liitle Jimmy being splashed with blood…)

Host
Now this can get a bit messy so make sure you’ve got some spare towels.. as well as some strong detergent for cleaning afterwards…Once you’ve opened it all up… try to identify where everything is…. Can you recognize what’s what Jimmy?

We now see the inside of what looks like the cranial cavity

Jimmy
That’s the brain.

Host
Correct that is the brain… so why don’t you take it out Jimmy…

(Jimmy removes the brain)

Host
…. So what happens now Jimmy….

Jimmy… shrugs…

Host
Let’s look at the instructions…

We see the instructions…

Host
Why don’t we try cutting a few bits off and fiddling around with that bit and then hopefully that should do the trick… go on Jimmy you do it….

Jimmy picks up the knife and fork and starts digging into the brain…

Wipe through to Jimmy and our host covered in blood…..

Host
Now all we have to do is put it back and that should be it….

Cut away…

We hear the noises of the brain being put back….

Host…
As you can see brain surgery really isn’t that difficult. If you can just follow a few simple instructions and navigate your way around the net then you too can call yourself a brain surgeon… it’ll impress your friends and might even get you some work… .

Cut to

Aunty Gwen dribbling… slowly she keals over…

Cut to Host…

Host
That’s all from us at “The Internet Shows You How” so until next time…. Good bye… say goodbye Jimmy…

Our characters waver as we roll end credits

The "How To" of the internet...

Knowledge... it's a powerful thing right ... the more you have, the more you can do...


The "how to" of the internet is something that's struck me very strongly recently because of events that have happened to me and the solutions that have resulted from my using the internet. This was encapsulated recently by my home computer...a G4 imac...which died... and would have resulted in a very costly repair...(the power supply broke)... Because of this I decided I would try to fix it myself... by using the information I found on the internet...

And with the help of this wonderful information from this site...

Site:
http://www.mrtotes.co.uk/mrtotes/iMac%20Flat%20Panel.html

I managed to find the dodgy bits and repair them...



This was fantastic... there I was with no particular knowlege of circuit boards, electronics, but some searching on the internet and considered thought had given me the answers that i needed... fab... which got me thinking how far could you go with the Do it yourself "How to" of the internet....I mean... what about brain surgery... all I need is a willing subject and away we go...









Author: http://hope.abta.org/site/DocServer/Surgery.pdf?docID=164&JServSessionIdr007=90k8jyhzd1.app1a

How difficult can it be right... the informations there... maybe practice on a few primates first just to get the hang of things...

It all sounds a bit scary really ... what is it they say about "a little knowledge being a dangerous thing...

"The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand."
Frank Herbert
US science fiction novelist (1920 - 1986)

"People are difficult to govern because they have too much knowledge."

Lao-tzu (604 BC - 531 BC), The Way of Lao-tzu

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.

Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.

Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881), Sybil, 1845

All men by nature desire knowledge.

Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Metaphysics

Seems like there's quite a few quotes about knowledge...

Website: http://www.quotationspage.com/subjects/knowledge/

The BIG question I guess is..."What are we going to do with all this knowledge that's sitting out there on the web...

I know the things I don't want to do....like build a nuclear bomb... but then it's intriguing to search for the info isn't it?







Infact what about life itself..... to create life... to buld it from scratch...



How we could create well....the big one!!"


"The key to existence will be found not in primordial sludge, but in the nanotechnology of the living cell

Paul Davies
Wednesday December 11, 2002
The Guardian

In 1953, a young chemist named Stanley Miller carried out a historic experiment at the University of Chicago. He attempted to recreate the conditions during the Earth's early days by sparking electricity through a mixture of water and gases sealed in a flask. When Miller analysed the results, he was pleased to find traces of amino acids, the building blocks of proteins.

His experiment entered folklore as a pioneering attempt to "make life in a test tube". The success of his simple procedure fostered the belief that it was the first step on a road to life, down which a chemical soup would be conveyed by the passage of time. In other words, by doing more of the same sort of thing, eventually some kind of life would be produced.

Taken from: Guardian website - http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,857635,00.html - Author: Pauk Davies Dec 2002...

Nanotechnology eh!



Author site - http://computing-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Nano+technology



Author site - http://kjzz.org/news/arizona/archives/200606/livingtech



Author site - http://frazer.rice.edu/~erkan/blog/archives/week_2005_12_04.html



Author site - http://www.nanotechnologyinvesting.us/

Imagine all the amazing things we could create with nanotechwhateva...



The world's smallest guitar ... mean how useful is that...

Author site - http://www.ocgc.org/ocgc/nanoguitar.htm

But then I always get scared we're gonna create that monster...(not like)...



Author site - http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A3UB480PVLS3AZ/ref=cm_lm_fullview_about_name/104-4533982-1181569

But more like...



Author site - http://www.biologyreference.com/A-Ar/AIDS.html



author site - http://www.nanomed.hbi.ir/

I dunno.. Aids... Global warming... it all looks like this world's a bit...



Author site - http://www.hope.edu/bandstra/RTOT/CH17/CH17_0.HTM



Sourced site - http://www.perspectives.com/forums/view_topic.php?id=92658&forum_id=93

But the good news is I just seen a new planet... that apparently's just like earth...



Author site - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6589157.stm

Gliese 581 C or something... "doesn't quite have the ring of "Earth"- but necessity dictates ...I guess all I have to do is look up how to build that space rocket!